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Jamen, det sagde de

Fredag d. 29. oktober 1999


"Two Andy Gorams, there's only two Andy Gorams..."
* Kilmarnock fans to the Rangers keeper after he had been diagnosed with
mild schizophrenia.

"I've told the players we need to win so that I can have the cash to buy
some new ones"
* Chris Turner, Peterborough manager, before League Cup 1/4 Final, 1992.

"Tell the Kraut to get his ass up front. We don't pay a million for a guy
to hang around in defence."
* NY Cosmos executive, on Beckenbauer's positioning.

"I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just
squandered"
* George Best.

"If we played like that every week we wouldn't be so inconsistent"
* Bryan Robson, Man U, 1990.

"That's great, tell him he's Pele and get him back on."
* John Lambie, Partick Thistle manager, when told a concussed striker did
not know who he was.

"I was saying the other day, how often the most vulnerable area for
goalies is between their legs..."
* ANDY GRAY, Sky Sport

Richard Keys : "Well Roy, do you think that you'll have to finish above
Manchester United to win the league ?"
Roy Evans : "You have to finish above everyone to win the league, Richard"

"If you can't stand the heat in the dressing-room, get out of the
kitchen."
* TERRY VENABLES, Capital Gold

"It's now 1-1, an exact reversal of the score on Saturday."
* Radio 5 Live

"Football today, it's like a game of chess. It's all about money."
* NEWCASTLE UNITED FAN, Radio 5 Live

"I'm not a believer in luck..... but I do believe you need it."
* ALAN BALL

"Merseyside derbies usually last 90 minutes and I'm sure today's won't be
any different."
* TREVOR BROOKING

"Dumbarton player Steve McCahill has limped off with a badly cut
forehead."
* TOM FERRIE

"And I honestly believe we can go all the way to Wembley...unless
somebody knocks us out."
* DAVE BASSETT

"And Arsenal now have plenty of time to dictate the last few seconds."
* PETER JONES

"What makes this game so delightful is that when both teams get the ball
they are attacking their opponents goal."
* JIMMY HILL

"Newcastle, of course, unbeaten in their last five wins."
* BRIAN MOORE

"Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for
even longer."
* DAVID ACFIELD

"What I said to them at half time would be unprintable on the radio"
* GERRY FRANCIS

"John Harkes going to Sheffield, Wednesday."
* New York Post (1993)

"If there weren't such a thing as football, we'd all be frustrated
footballers."
* Mick Lyons

"He's one of those footballers whose brains are in his head"
* Derek Johnstone - BBC TV Scotland (1994)

"The crowd think that Todd handled the ball... they must have seen
something that nobody else did"
* Barry Davies (1975)

"I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel"
* Stuart Pearce (1992)

Jimmy Hill : "Don't sit on the fence Terry, what chance do you think
Germany has got of getting through?"
Terry Venables : "I think it's fifty - fifty"

"There's nobody fitter at his age, except maybe Raquel Welch"
* Ron Atkinson lauds Gordon Strachan, 39

"Manchester United take more in programme sales than we take on the gate"
* Lawrie McMenemy, Southampton

"If I walked on water, my accusers would say it is because I can't swim"
* Berti Vogts, Germany coach

"You don't have to have been a horse to be a jockey"
* Arrigo Sacchi, Italy coach, defending a meagre playing record

"Love is good for footballers, as long as it is not at half-time"
* Richard Moller Nielsen, Denmark coach

"I was about to say, before something far more interesting interrupted"
* John Motson, France v Bulgaria

"Why didn't you just belt it son?"
* Gareth Southgate's mother reflects publicly on her son's penalty miss

"The only way we will be going to Europe is if the club splash out and
take us all to Eurodisney"
* Dean Holdsworth, Wimbledon

"I was shocked when I was first introduced to the fans because they
brought out a sheep, cut its head off and then smeared blood over my
forehead"
* Manchester United's Ronnie Johnsen on life with Besiktas, Turkey

"If the players want to make it hard for me, I am happy to make it twice
as hard for them"
* Wendy Toms, the first female referee to officiate in a professional
game

"The score is Sunderland nil, Leicester nil, the temperature is nil (32
degrees) and the entertainment value is not much above nil."
* Sunderland v Leicester, Radio 5 Live

"I think having Wasps around here as well gives us that little buzz
around the place"
* Ray Wilkins on the QPR-Wasps groundshare

"This is an unusual Scotland side because they have good players"
* praise for the Under-21s from Javier Clemente, Spain's coach

"There are some great defenders here, I just don't know their names"
* David Ginola of Newcastle and France

"It took a lot of bottle for Tony to own up"
* Ian Wright on the Arsenal captain's confession to alcoholism

"It's sod's law. Now I've got time to improve my golf it's the wrong time
of year"
* Howard Wilkinson when sacked by Leeds

"I know where he should have put his flag up, and he'd have got plenty
of help"
* Ron Atkinson at Stamford Bridge

"The referee was booking everyone. I thought he was filling in his lottery
numbers"
* Ian Wright

The following quotes are "borrowed" from the Rothman's Football Diary

Best of 1993/94

England Manager Graham Taylor after the 0-0 draw with Denmark in the European Championships:
"We haven't won the game, but we haven't lost it." 11 June 1992

Ruud Gullit's appraisal of Scotland at the European Championships:
"A good team with strong English character"

Lazio boss Dino Zoff after seeing topless pictures of an overweight Gascoigne at a nightclub:
"I only hope it's someone else's body with his face painted on." July 1992

Sheffield United boss Dave Bassett, on his August Christmas party:
"It seems we're incapable of playing until after Christmas, so we're having it before the season starts."

Halifax's despairing boss John McGrath:
"I'm going to have to listen to offers for all my players - and the club cat Benny, who's pissed off because all the mice have died of starvation."

England boss Graham Taylor, after 'Swedes 2 Turnips 1' and 'Spanish 1 Onions 0' headlines:
"I'm beginning to wonder what bloody vegetable grows in Norway."

Millwall community development officer Gary Stempel on the taunting of Arsenal's Ian Wright by Millwall fans:
"It was the most venomous racial abuse I've heard for five or six years , and that was very disappointing."

Chesterfield's Dave Lancaster, who scored two in their 4-4 draw at Anfield in the Coca Cola cup:
"I thought there might be eight goals, but I never thought we would get four of them."

George Best, when asked if, in his heyday, he was better than Paul Gascoigne:
"It's very difficult to say, but yes."

Rangers striker Ally McCoist on Leeds' early goal against them at Ibrox in the European Cup:
"The noise level when we came on the pitch, was as loud as I've ever heard. But within a minute it was as quiet as I've ever known."

Swedish international defender Patrik Andersson, after turning down a move to Leeds:
"If they pay peanuts, they can expect monkeys"

Referee Roger Milford on the penalty he gave to Wimbledon that had Sheffield Wednesday boss Trevor Francis fuming:
"I saw Chris Woods dive across and make a save and then saw another yellow hand touch the ball. I couldn't see who it was, but my linesman confirmed it was a yellow hand." 28 November

Barnet manager Barry Fry, on Stan Flashman (Barnet chairman):
"If you didn't know him, you'd think he was an absolute ignorant pig. He is, in many ways, but he does care for the club." November 1992

Barry Fry, after being sacked by Flashman for the umpteenth time:
"I'm absolutely gutted. I'm devastated. The man is a complete and utter shit." December 1992

Hartlepool chairman Garry Gibson, after they knock Crystal Palace out of the FA Cup:
"The listening bank refused to listen and the bank that likes to say 'Yes' said 'No'. Maybe they'll think again now."

BBC Commentator John Motson:
"This match was settled either side of half-time."

Sheffield United boss Dave Bassett on his directors:
"They've been loyal to me. When I came here they said there would be no money, and they've kept their promise."

Forest fans chanting, despite having just seen Sheffield United condemn their club to the First Division after Brian Clough's last match in charge:
"Brian Clough's a football genius." 1st of May

Sheffield United fans, at the same match:
"Clough for England."

England manager Graham Taylor after the 1-1 draw in Poland:
"You can't play the game if your head goes, and we were running around like headless chickens."

England manager Graham Taylor a couple of days before his extraordinary team selection for the important World Cup qualifier in Norway:
"I'm taking a little more time over my selection because it's important for England - not Graham Taylor or the players, but England - that I get it right and not rush into decisions that I might regret."

Bobby Charlton, using the patriotic 'we', although he had no reason to blame himself, on England's defeat in Norway:
"We were technically naive, unprofessional in everything we did. It was a performance that really plumbed the depths."

England manager Graham Taylor on Gazza's lack of fitness:
"I cannot allow myself to record publicly exactly what I think his problems are. If I did, all hell would be let loose. What I find difficult is that there are people who know, but they want me or someone else to say what is wrong. However I cannot, or will not go all the way down that line."

England manager Graham Taylor after thir defeat by the United States:
"We played them on the wrong day." 9 June 1993

Best of 1995/96

Ireland Manager Jack Charlton, commenting on Italy, their first World Cup opponents:
"I've seen them on television on a Sunday morning most days of the week"

Spurs chairman Alan Sugar, after arranging the £2.6m transfer of Romanian star Ilie Dumitrescu while manager Ossie Ardiles was away:
"I don't remember him from the World Cup, but I'm sure he impressed me and will do a great job for Spurs."

Spurs new signing Jurgen Klinnsman, pre-empting his reputation at his first press conference on arrival at Tottenham:
"Is there a diving school in London?"

Wendy Toms, the Football leagues first female linesman, on being asked how she found the crowd at Torquay after her first match:
"No problem at all - abusive as usual."

Opposition leader Tony Blair, speaking at the Scottish Press Fund Lunch:
"Walter Smith [Rangers' Manager] has done more than the Tory backbenchers to keep Britain out of Europe."

Steve McMahon, after being appointed Swindon Town Player-Manager:
"No more nicey-nicey stuff... I don't mind if we pick up a few yellow cards..... I'm looking for a team which fights." [McMahon picks up two yellow cards himself in his first match, and is sent off.]

The half time announcement - referring to the dismissal of player-manager Steve McMahon - at the Swindon vs Bolton match that earned PA announcer Pete Lewis the sack:
"I've seen some crap refereeing decisions in my time, but that's the worst."

Teenage striker John Hartson on signing for Arsenal:
"People think I'm like Alan Smith, but I like the ball played on the floor and Arsenal play that way."
Arsenal manager George Graham, hastily intervening:
"A lot of people, especially those in the media, would disagree."

Beleaguered manager George Graham:
"I know I have the backing of the board"

Pseudo philosopher Eric Cantona, at a press conference after his jail sentence was commuted to community service:
"When seagulls follow the trawler, it is because they think that sardines will be thrown into the sea"

Gordan Strachan, speaking at the PFA awards:
"If a Frenchman goes on about seagulls, sardines and trawlers. he's called a philosopher. I'd just be called a short Scottish bum talking crap."

Selhurst Park safety officer George Crawford, quoting a saying of his trade:
"You can take the supporter out of the terrace, but you can't take the terraces out of the supporter."

Best of 1996/97

Wolves manager Graham Taylor after another lacklustre performance, a home draw againstbottom club Luton, leaves them floundering near the relegation zone:
"At the end of the day it's results-orientated, this game, and our results aren't anything like we would want them to be."

Marine manager Roly Howard, after his side's narrow 11-2 defeat in the FA cup by Shrewsbury:
"It may sound daft, but until we let in those three goals just before half time I thought we were the best side."

Wimbledon captain Vinnie Jones, likening Chelsea's Ruud Gullit to two pot-bellied pigs he owns, after being sent off at Stamford Bridge when he was given a second yellow card for a foul on the Dutchman:
"They don't squeal as much as him."

Scottish referee Jim McGilvray, critical of FIFA's edicts, on why he resigned:
"The day I had to book Paul Gascoigne for celebrating scoring a goal was the last straw - that was the day I decided to pack it in."

Newcastle manager Kevin Keegan rationalising the incidents in the Premiership match at Maine Road that persuaded the FA to bring misconduct charges against his new Colombian signing Faustino Asprilla:
"He's from Latin America. That's the way they are there."

1997/98

ITV commentary on the Rangers vs Vladikavkaz European Cup match:
"..... and it unfortunately goes right down the keeper's throat" (Ron Atkinson)
"..... Where it hits him on the knees, so to speak" (John Helm)

Arsene Wenger, Arsenal's manager elect, on Spur's home defeat by Leicester during his trip to Europe while still contracted to Grampus 8 in Japan:
"I tried to watch the Spurs match on television in my hotel yesterday, but I fell asleep."

Sung by the 800 Scotland supporters in Estonia for the World Cup qualifying tie for which the home side failed to turn up:
"There's only one team in Tallinn."

Chelsea's Gianfranco Zola, asked how he felt about the close marking of Peter Atherton of Sheffield Wednesday:
"I prefer my wife."

Sunderland manager Peter Reid, on his French keeper Lionel Perez's display against Arsenal at Highbury in the FA cup:
"Magnifico, or whatever they say in Paris."

Chelsea manager Ruud Gullit on veteran striker Mark Hughes:
"He's playing better and better, even if he is going grey and looks like a pigeon."

A young Newcastle fan on the news that Kevin Keegan had resigned:
"How can he leave us? He's God around here. He's even bigger than God. He's the life of Newcastle. People name their children after him. There are even dogs named after him."

Chelsea's Italian star Gianfranco Zola, on the pitfalls of improving his English at Stamford Bridge:
"I try, but every time I listen some place like Dennis Wise, my English go down."

Memo to self : Wiggy owes me £3
TV summariser Chris Waddle, analysing a slow-motion replay of a challenge by Newcastle's Steve Watson on a Monaco striker in the penalty box:
"He just caught the back of his ankle, I think. It was a fair challenge."

Brian Clough on Paul Gascoigne:
"It's a talent wasted. He has dissipated his talent and I don't think the image he gives the game is good."

England's Paul Ince, tying himself in knots on being asked which club he will join at the end of the season:
"I'll announce my decision after the final [EUFA Cup]. I know whether or not I'm leaving. I just don't know where I'm going. My decision isn't about football, it's for my family. I'm not leaving because I don't like Inter - er, if I leave, that is."

Paul Ince, reacting to the view from Blackburn that he's past his best:
"They haven't snubbed me. Do me a favour! Let's face it, would I want to go there?"



The below quotes are grabbed from The Ultimate Football Fact and Quiz Book
"A lot of hard work went into this defeat."
Malcolm Allison

"I went down to pass on some technical information to the team - like the fact the game had started."
Aston Villa manager Ron Atkinson, explaining why he had taken his seat in the dugout early in a match against Sheffield United.

Gordon Lee : "Well, what business has anyone got naming him Eamon O'Keefe if he isn't Irish?"
Billy Bingham : "Probably the same business they have naming you Lee when you're not Chinese."

"Matt [Busby] always believed Manchester United would be one of the greatest clubs in the world. He was the eternal optimist. In 1968 he still hoped that Glenn Miller was just missing."
Pat Crerand

"The game in Romania was a game we should have won. We lost it because we thought we were going to win it. But then again, I thought there was no way we were going to get a result there."
Rep. Ireland manager Jack Charlton in 1987

"The first thing that went wrong was half-time. We could have done without that."
England manager Graham Taylor in 1988

"Very few players have the courage of my convictions."
Brian Clough

"The last player to score a hat-trick in an FA Cup Final was Stan Mortensen. He even had a Final named after him - the Matthews final."
Lawrie McMenemy

"I do want to play the long ball, and I do want to play the short ball. I think long and short balls is what football is all about."
Bobby Robson

"Certain players are for me, certain players are pro me."
Terry Venables

"I don't drop players - I make changes."
Bill Shankly

"Of course I didn't take my wife to see Rochdale as an anniversary present. It was her birthday, would I have got married during the football season? And, anyway, it wasn't Rochdale. It was Rochdale reserves."
Bill Shankly

"Remember, postcards only, please. The winner will be the first one opened."
Brian Moore

"They must go for it now as they have nothing to lose but the match."
Ron Atkinson

"Kenny Dalglish has about as much personality as a tennis racket."
Mick Channon

"Don't tell those coming the final result of the fantastic match, but let's just have another look at Italy's winning goal."
David Coleman

"If in winning the game we finish with a draw, we would be fine."
Jack Charlton

"Nottingham Forest are having a bad run...... they've lost six matches now without winning."
David Coleman

"You know Brazilians aren't as good as they used to be, or as they are now."
Kenny Dalglish

"Lukic saved with his foot which is all part of the goalkeeper's arm."
Barry Davies

"He hit the post, and after the game people will say, well, he hit the post."
Jimmy Greaves

"The USA are a goal down, and if they don't get a goal, they'll lose."
John Helm

"Sporting Lisbon in their green and white hoops, looking like a team of zebras."
Peter Jones

"Bobby Robson must be thinking of throwing some fresh legs on."
Kevin Keegan

Dickie Davies: "What's he going to be telling his team at half time, Denis?"
Denis Law: "He'll be telling them that there are 45 minutes left to play."

"Chesterfield 1, Chester 1. Another score draw in that local derby."
Desmond Lynam

"If history is going to repeat itself, then I should think we can expect the same thing again."
Terry Venables

"I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass."
Jasper Carrott

"Last time we got a penalty away from home, Christ was still a carpenter."
Lenny Lawrence

"Well, stone me. We've had cocaine, bribery and Arsenal scoring two goals at home. But just when you thought there truly were no surprises left in football, Vinny Jones turns out to be an international player."
Jimmy Greaves

"I'm not giving any secrets like that to Milan. If I had my way, I wouldn't even tell them the time of the kick off."
Bill Shankly, on delaying his team line-up.

"With Maradona, even Arsenal would have won it."
Bobby Robson, on the 1986 World Cup.


"The World Cup - truly an international event."
John Motson

"I promise results, not promises."
John Bond

"I'm not a believer in luck, although I do believe you need it."
Alan Ball

"Mind, I've been here during the bad times too. One year we finished second."
Bill Shankly

"John Bond has blackened my name with his insinuations about the private lives of football managers. Both my wives are upset."
Malcolm Allison

"Football Hooligans? Well there are 92 club chairmen for a start."
Brian Clough

"The ideal board of directors should be made of three men - two dead and one dying."
Tommy Docherty

"He can't run, he can't tackle and he can't head the ball. The only time he goes forward is to toss the coin."
Tommy Docherty, on Ray Wilkins

"The game is balanced in Arsenal's favour."
John Motson

"With the very last kick of the game, Bobby McDonald scored with a header."
Alan Parry

"If history is going to repeat itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again."
Terry Venables

"The first ninety minutes are the most important."
Bobby Robson

"Moving from Wales to Italy is like going to a different country."
Ian Rush

"The ball has broken 50-50 for Keegan."
David Coleman

"I never predict anything and I never will do."
Paul Gascoigne

"There's no job I've ever wanted. This is the only job in football I've ever wanted."
Kevin Keegan

"Without picking out anyone in particular, I thought Mark Wright was tremendous."
Graeme Souness

"It may have just been going wide, but nevertheless it was a great shot on target."
Terry Venables

"Fifty-two thousand people here at Maine Road tonight, but my goodness me, it seems like fifty thousand."
Bryan Butler

"Yes. Woodcock would have scored but his shot was too perfect."
Ron Atkinson

"Ian Rush. Deadly ten times out of ten. But that wasn't one of them."
Peter Jones

"He had an eternity to play that ball..... but he took too long over it."
Martin Tyler

"I can't promise anything, but I can promise 100 percent."
Paul Power

"McCarthy shakes his head in agreement with the referee."
Martin Tyler

"Good enough for the homeless, but not for an international striker."
Pierre Van Hooijdonk, on being offered an extra £7,000 a week.

"I feel like a Ferrari being driven by a Traffic Warden."
Roberto Baggio, on being a substitute.

"It won't be an easy here, and any normal, intelligent person would have stayed at Inter."
Gianluca Festa

"Sir John Hall was a multi-millionaire when I came back to Newcastle. With all the players I've bought, I'm trying to make him just an ordinary millionaire."
Kevin Keegan

"I just sat at home watching TV - and it wasn't even switched on."
Steve Bruce

"Ray Wilkins sends an inch perfect pass to no-one in particular."
Bryon Butler

"One of the trainers, John Latimer, said to me: 'Goalkeepers have got to be crackers and daft. You, son, have got the qualities of an international.' I took it as a compliment."
John Burridge

"I know we are the team everyone loves to hate. They blame us for everything, from England's failure in the World Cup to the rising price of plums."
Wimbledon manager, Joe Kinnear

"John Fashanu was playing professional football without due care and attention."
Gary Mabbutt

"Trevor Steven might have scored there if he'd chanced his arm with his left foot."
Trevor Brooking

"I expect to win. Let me do the worrying - that's what I'm paid for. You get your feet up in front of the telly, get a few beers in and have a good time."
Graham Taylor, on the eve of the 1992 European Championship.

"It's best being a striker. If you miss five, then score the winner, you're a hero. The goalkeeper can play a blinder, then let one in ....... he's a villain."
Ian Rush

"If we score more goals than they do, we will win."
Kenny Dalglish

"You just sit there, pretend to know what your doing, and hope you get it right."
Kevin Keegan

"I played in the First Division until I was 50. That was a mistake. I could have gone on for another two years."
Sir Stanley Matthews

"It's hard to believe that so many professionals in this country haven't been taught how to kick a football correctly."
Malcolm Allsion, on his return to management at Bristol Rovers.

"Ten years from now, Paul Gascoigne might have proved himself the biggest name in football, or he might have blown it. Either way I will not be surprised."
Kevin Keegan

"Now the players applaud the crowd at the end of a match. When I was playing, it was the other way around."
Alan Ball

"The player who kicks the last penalty either has the key to the hotel or the plane tickets home."
Carlos Bilardo

"People say Steve Bull's first touch isn't good, but he usually scores with his second."
Graham Turner

"I got eight O-Levels at school... zero in every subject."
Paul Gascoigne

"There is nothing you can know about football that cannot be learned from watching Germany. Physically, tactically, mentally, they get it right almost every time."
Done Howe

"I'm only surprised that people are surprised by surprise results in football."
Bill Shankly

"At least we got a point."
Tony Adams, after England draw 1-1 in a friendly with Portugal.

"The secret of being a manager is to keep the six players who hate you away from the five that are undecided."
Jock Stein

"I am grateful to my father for all the coaching he did not give me."
Ferenc Puskas

"I have heard of selling dummies. But this club keeps buying them."
Len Shackleton

Irish international Mick McCarthy after swapping shirts with Ruud Gullit in the 1988 European Championship:
"When he gets mine home, he'll wonder who the bloody hell's it is."

"When you've seen one wall, you've seen the lot."
WBA player John Trewick, on seeing the Great Wall of China.

"He has two arms and legs, same as the rest of our players but once he finds his feet I'm convinced he'll do well."
Ian Porterfield, on signing Charlie Nicholas for Aberdeen in 1988.

"As the ball came over I remembered what Graham Taylor said about my having no right foot - so I headed it in."
John Barnes

"He is accused of being arrogant, unable to cope with the press and a boozer. Sounds like he's got a chance to me."
George Best

"You've done it once, now win it again."
Sir Alf Ramsey, to his team before extra time in the 1966 Word Cup Final.

"I have told my players never to believe what I say about them in the papers."
Graham Taylor

"They serve a drink in Glasgow called the Souness, one half and you're off."
Tommy Docherty

"Only women and horses work for nothing."
Doug Ellis, on becoming the first paid football director.

"Football is a simple game where 22 players play against each other and in the end Germany wins."
Gary Lineker

"A penalty is a cowardly way to score a goal."
Pele

"If I'd wanted to be an individual, I'd have taken up tennis."
Ruud Gullit

"Football is a simple game. The hard part is making it look simple."
Ron Greenwood

"Three fresh men, three fresh legs."
Jimmy Hill, during the England-Spain game in Euro '96.